Listening
- by unknown author
- by unknown author
When I ask you tp listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I have asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me.
Strange as that may seem.
LISTEN!
All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do, but hear me.
I can do for myself, I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational then I can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling
and when that is clear the answers are obvious
and I don't need advice.
Perhaps that is why prayer works, sometimes, for many people because God is mute and doesn't try to give advice or fix things
God just listens and lets you try to work it out.
So please listen and just hear me and if you want to talk
wait a minute for your turn and...
I will listen to you.
What if you explain, and are listened to. In silence as you seem to desire, but the listener misunderstands?
ReplyDeleteIsn't it important that your feelings are understood exactly...But without a reply, how will you know?
If there is advice, then that means that there was listening beforehand.
Miracles, is the word of God, some would say.
I realise that nobody has replied to this post, perhaps they listened!!!
But so did I. And I listened to you no less than others, and I apologise if I trample over your feelings with my comment.
But this problem of having an urge to be listened to and understood, is one I have come across many times in the past, and one I have never quite understood.
Everybody in this world is different, and obviously perceives it differently as well. I could never feel what you feel and vice versa. That is the beauty of it all. Full of mystery, nothing is for sure. The reasoning behind many things is based on assumptions. I personally find this aspect of life magnificent. As a child I always used to imagine how great it would be to be able to read other people's minds and try to see the world through their eyes. As I see it now, this fantasy would not have added anything to my life. If you play cards for example, (even though many people do cheat), the point is that you do not know the opponents cards.
But more to the point. Living in such a world of variety, one becomes isolated, and engulfed by loneliness and fear. By seeking similarities in others, the loneliness is reduced because somebody feels the same way as you do. And so far what I have said makes sense to me, but I do not understand why people become angry if they are not understood, and that is a common reaction. Whether they are or not, the distance between individuals is still there. There is still no way to feel the way another person feels.
I love my solitude, and feeling what I feel satisfies me. Sure, coming across somebody who seems to think or feel in a similar way feels nice, but that is not what brings me comfort during those times of loneliness.
It is the fact, and I repeat fact, that we are all alone. Knowing that you, as I, as anybody you see, are all isolated, all misinterpreting each other and guessing, all in the same game, brings me peace.
After all, you don't get angry when fellow card game players refuse to show you their cards.
Besides, you don't even ask.
That's the fun of the game.